Bleeding Love

Photo source: symphonyofheaven.org

I'm sad. It's not because I'm spending Valentine's day alone but because today I lost a patient. A post-angioplasty hypertensive diabetic patient who had to undergo stat dialysis yesterday for acute kidney injury died after developing an acute intraparenchymal hemorrhage at the right thalamus with perilesional edema and transtentorial herniation. As much as I could be part of those singles who once again feel cold and weary about not having a special someone to spend this day with, it would not compare to the feeling of the loved ones left behind by that certain patient as they have lost a mother, a wife, a sister, an aunt, and a friend today. And honestly, if I were in their shoes, I think I could not bear the thought of losing a loved one...not on Valentine's day and not even on any other ordinary day.

I didn't really get to know this patient to be that attached to her because I have just taken cared of her I think twice (last night was the 2nd time) during my ICU duty/rotation but I could just imagine the emptiness her loved ones must feel about losing her. Instead of celebrating life and love, there were tears shed and their family will probably cry even more today and in the coming days as they mourn over their loss.

It got me into thinking about how a lot of funny #bitter posts can be seen in social media today of a lot of single persons out there and how I somehow wanted to join the crowd and rant about going through another Vday without getting a romantic gesture from anyone but I chose to write this post instead.

I may not receive any bright, colorful flowers or chocolates to give my palate a sugar rush today (like others probably would) but it's nothing compared to not being able to see the beauty of your loved ones' smile or the warmth of their hugs and kisses anymore.

As I ponder on the things I had to go through the day, it may have been sad to lose someone but I also realized that even in losing, one can gain something...because it is only when we experience sadness that we are able to truly appreciate what happiness is all about.

And so even in my sadness, I'd like to take this opportunity to say how grateful I am to God, the Lover of my soul for giving the promise in Psalm 147:3 and that only He can truly mend a broken heart...if you feel like yours is broken, whether your love has not been reciprocated or you have lost a loved one, too, let God take your heart and provide you with the healing, comfort, and joy only He can provide.

Happy Valentine's Day, everyone! I hope you'll all feel God's love today and everyday of your lives. <3 <3 <3